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#MINAYEON

2/?

01. (08.10.21)
words: 513.
drabble. finished.

It’s late. The nightstand clock reads 3am in bright neon blue and she sighs, rolling to her side only to find a tangled mess of brown locks poking out of the blankets. Nayeon has always been a messy sleeper, the kind of person who hogs all the blanket and ends up kicking you out of the bed if you don’t fight back.Mina’s fingers brush a strand off her face, absently, because it’s basically second nature to her now, caring for this wonderful being that’s haphazardly lying in their bed.Gently, she snakes her arms around Nayeon’s waist and scoots closer, nuzzling her nape with the tip of her nose. She feels her stir under her touch, languidly stretching her arms like a cat.“Minari…cold.”“Hm?”“Your nose is cold,” she whines, and Mina can only chuckle and attempt to get impossibly closer to her lover. Her lover, who is desperately fighting to free herself from Mina’s grip.“Mina. Let me breathe!” And that she does, because she doesn’t want to risk being punched in the face at 3am by her grumpy girlfriend. No way.Nayeon’s chest heaves due to the effort and her cheeks are a rosy pink, but the way her lips curve upwards and eyes crinkle into crescent moons give her away. She’s happy.“You make me happy,” and oh, did she say that out loud? There’s adoration in her gaze, gentle, dripping like honey and washing over her, lapping at her heart and making her chest flutter. She wants to bury her head in a pillow, scream about how lucky she is to have an Im Nayeon in her life.It makes her want to hide away at the same time. There’s so much love and tenderness in the way she speaks, in her touch. Feelings well up in her chest, in her throat, and words fail her. It doesn’t surprise her though. She’s never been good with words anyway.“Are you listening to me?”She scrunches her nose when Nayeon flicks her forehead. A cute pout adorns her lips as she complains about Mina not listening to her, though there’s a soft glint to her tired eyes and a slight upward curve to her lips that tell her she’s not mad, not really. She’s just being Nayeon; playful, teasing, even when she’s half-awake, teetering precariously on the verge of falling asleep again.It’s quiet then. There’s light that seeps through the curtains and dimly frames her petite body, the curve of her waist, her face, with her characteristic smile and crinkled eyes. Her hands reach for Nayeon’s, because she’s not that great at talking about her feelings so she hopes, prays, that she understands what this means: you make me happy, too.Instead of saying anything, Nayeon brings her knuckles closer to her lips and drops a kiss there. An answer of sorts: I know. I know.“Sleep. It’s late.” Nayeon rasps, struggling to keep her eyes open. She means: I love you.Mina nods.It’s late. The clock reads 3am. She pulls Nayeon closer by the waist.

02. (06.08.20)
words: 190.
excerpt of an unfinished story. soulmates au.

Despite the current situation Nayeon’s chuckle is lighthearted as she tries to brush off what just happened. Either ways, it isn’t something necessarily bad, right? More people have as a soulmate someone they’ve known their entire life and it’s fine. It’s just her mind again, playing all the possible scenarios where Mina looks at her as if she were an alien because them being soulmates sounds like impossible. No, she’s Mina—soft and sweet and gentle, and she definitely wouldn’t want to make Nayeon feel ashamed over something she can’t control.Nayeon steals a glance at her. Mina looks worried, not because of the words engraved on Nayeon’s skin, but for her as she seems to grow paler by the minute. She should say something, anything would do. Mina has seen the words inked on the base of her nape and she definitely can’t hide it anymore, can she?There’s no point in running away from the inevitable, but how do you tell someone “Hey, I think we’re meant to be”, when you’ve been together for as long as you can remember and know that you’re not who they want?Losing Mina is something she can’t afford and she’s afraid she’ll mess up if she opens her mouth.

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#SANAYEON

5/?

01. (08.20)
words: 378.
drabble. finished. soulmates au.

It’s unfair. Nayeon thinks as she scowls at the tenth couple she sees this morning. Almost everyone — if not everyone except her — has a unique soul mark. A couple of words so special that don’t leave room for doubt. She frowns, wondering how it is possible that the first words most people say to their soulmate aren’t ‘hello’,‘hi’ or anything similar.Her eyes dart to her wrist, where the really unhelpful “hey” is engraved. Nayeon squints and stares at the inked skin as if maybe by doing it, the word will morph into another one that will give her a hint of who her soulmate is.There’s suddenly a fit of giggles not far from her and she swears that if she wasn’t so tired and sleep deprived, and starved of affection, she would get up from her seat and yell at them to tone it down, that there are many single people (her) in this room and that their public display of affection makes her want to cry. She just groans (whines). A death glare will have to do for now.One of the girls recoils but the other raises an eyebrow at her as if she was challenging her to say something to them. Nayeon clears her throat and looks elsewhere. She isn’t a coward. Nope.Beside the couple, a girl seemingly around her age is staring at her phone, third wheeling like a champ, huh? She’s cute, she’ll give her that...in fact, she’s really, really cute and she seems quite familiar.She heads towards the cute girl before she can stop herself and the couple she had glared at before look at her bewildered. They probably want to ask what the fuck she is doing but she doesn’t even know herself.“Hey. Is there anything we can do for you?” The girl asks, looking curiously at Nayeon, a dashing smile on her lips. And yeah, you could give me your phone, for starters—but before she can say anything stupid, her eyes focus on the words that are imprinted on her collarbone and it suddenly dawns on her. And she’s fucked.“Fuck.”The girl, catching Nayeon’s eyes on her mark, simply laughs.“It says fuck me, not fuck.”

02. (04.05.22)
words: 454 of 2000~.
excerpt of an unfinished story.

The news spread like the plague. The world is ending in less than 24h, the newsman says on a Monday at 8am, without further information as to why and how. His voice is steady, but Nayeon can easily notice how badly his hands are shaking; how a thin sheen of sweat covers his forehead. She watches the news for a while longer, watches as the rest of the world’s population descends into pure madness; the roads have collapsed and flights are being suspended. After all, the world is ending.The tv keeps on rolling images of the havoc that’s going on outside, how NASA and other big companies are still trying to find a solution, but Nayeon isn’t paying attention anymore and it fades into a background noise as she scrolls through social media, sprawled across the couch while she waits for Sana to come back from campus. Classes have been cancelled, because why would you go to university when you’re going to die, right? Still, that loser had an early lecture at 7:30 so when the news spread she was already in class.As if on cue, she hears the door being opened and so she switches to another channel, one where they’re throwing some rom-com Sana would surely enjoy no matter how cliché and predictable the end is. Sana hates the news channel, says they dramatise everything and she’d rather have Nayeon filling her in on the important things, though the latter suspects that she only does it to get her to talk about anything and everything, really.Outside, the sky is turning a deep scarlet and there are alarms going off in every corner of the city, cars setting on fire, but Nayeon can only focus on Sana, who locks the door behind her with her shoulders slouched and the look of a kicked puppy on her face.“I don’t like how the sky is red, Nayeonie. It makes my hair stand out less.”No greetings. No panicked screams or tears. Only Sana would pout and complain about such a trivial thing while the world is uh, burning? Freezing? About to explode? Whatever. Sana removes her jacket, drops it on a chair by the entrance and it’s like a gust of normality that Nayeon welcomes wholeheartedly amidst the mess. They quickly settle into their usual routine; Sana jumps over the back of the couch, sits beside Nayeon; or more like presses flush against her side and perches her head on her shoulder to get a good view of whatever Nayeon is watching on her phone. They stay like that for a while, quiet, fingers interlaced because it’s like second nature to them by now, seeking each other’s touch.

03. (08.20)
words: 403.
drabble. finished. hanahaki AU.

Nayeon tries to breathe, she really does, but the air clogs in her throat and her exhale comes out shaky and with coppery petals. Tears prick in the corner of her eyes and they burn and everything hurts. She doesn’t want to cry, but her body bends forward without her permission and a pitiful whimper falls from her lips. Love is so unfair, she thinks as she tries to tuck all the petals in her jean’s pockets. No one should know about this. Sana can’t find out about this.She gets up and heads to the bathroom, folds the petals in tissues and flushes them down the drain. If only it were that easy to get rid of feelings.Her fingertips are covered in crimson red and she takes pity in herself because she should have seen this coming. Nayeon feels dizzy and exhausted and for some reason, the bathroom floor seems a great place to take a nap.“Nayeon?” That voice, how her name rolls off their tongue so naturally, it gives her goosebumps and she can feel the flowers clogging her airways once again. Not now, Nayeon begs, but she knows what’s coming.“Nayeon!” Her voice is a mere background noise now. Lame, she thinks as her knees hit the floor and daffodil petals follow. She was bound to find out eventually…She doesn’t even care now, she cries and wails and curls in on herself, looking small and fragile and she wants to blame Sana, she really does, but she can’t. It’s not Sana’s fault. She's by her side, rubbing her back and looking at her with so much care and affection and love, but not enough at the same time because damn, if she loved her enough this wouldn’t be happening.“Who...is it?” She asks and Nayeon would yell that it’s her, that it’s been her for the past months but she can’t because she’s still trying to breathe and can’t. Then it’s silent until Sana tries again.“I...what can I do for you? I don’t want to see you in so much pain.” She sounds hesitant and worried, so worried for her. And her chest aches and she can’t tell anymore if it’s because she’s not getting enough oxygen or if it’s because of the words that want to leave her lips but won’t.Love me, Nayeon wants to yell. Love me, she wants to beg.

04. (03.19)
words: 244.
excerpt of an unfinished story.

The sky was suddenly soaked in vibrant hues of red and orange, and it didn't matter at all that they were freezing to death. Sana's nose and ears were dusted red and she couldn't feel the tips of her fingers, but Nayeon's lighthearted laugh made it worth it. She always made everything worth it.She looked so beautiful, so ethereal in the last rays of sun. It made Sana want to scream into the void about how perfectly imperfect this woman was."You'll bore holes through the sun at this rate, Nayeonie." Sana stated teasingly then, looking at Nayeon entranced and, perhaps, just a teeny tiny bit in love."But, don't you find it beautiful?" Nayeon asked, voice wistfull and distant, but still filled with a certain warmth reserved for Sana and Sana only. Her eyes followed the slow movement of the Sun that disappeared in the horizon, drawing beautiful orange patters across the surface of the winter sea."Yes, it's beautiful." Sana’s gaze never left Nayeon's figure, though. Her heart was beating crazy fast and her head was spinning, and she swore that she had never felt so alive until now, beside Nayeon."I think I love sunsets." Nayeon said after a while and Sana was about to reply that yes, she loved them as well.But instead, her heart clashed with her mind, and the words that left her lips weren't the ones she intended to say."I think I love you."

05. (08.08.20)
words: 486.
drabble. finished. hanahaki AU.

She thinks it’s worth it. Despite all the restless nights, the exhaustion, pain and repeatedly crushed hopes, she thinks it’s definitely worth it. She lies in bed, awake, leaning on her side and looking at the scattered petals on the floor of her bedroom. They’re pearly white—could be pretty, but they’re ruined by the scarlet red tint.Sana closes her eyes then, pictures Nayeon’s defined and sharp features, her dark brown eyes, her unruly hair and cheeky grin… she coughs, a small rose bud falls from her lips and she takes it in her hands. There’s no blood on it and she finds herself entranced by its beauty. A sigh escapes her. Oh well, it’ll be quite a poetic way to go.It’s been months, long months of longing, of ache and pining. Months full of what ifs and maybes and resilience because she’s not giving up, she won’t give up on the idea of them. She should know better, she knows, but she’s stubborn.Her phone buzzes by her side and she quickly takes it in her hands to read the message displayed on the screen: ‘how are you doing?’ It’s getting worse, she wants to type, but that would make her feel guilty, so she decides against it and types a noncommittal ‘fine’.Sana knows Nayeon is worried about her. They’ve had a few fights about it. Nayeon sometimes suggests—hints— that she should get surgery, get those damned flowers out of her lungs before it’s too late. But they both know she’ll refuse because she’s stupid, or at least that’s what Nayeon says because: ‘how can you choose to love over living? dammit.’Sana wants to reply that it’s because she doesn’t know how living without loving her would be living in the first place. She never voices that thought out loud, though.She’s brought out of her train of thoughts when she receives another message: ‘ok, I love you. Goodnight.’Sana flinches upon reading the words. Nayeon repeats them to her on a daily basis, hoping, praying, that one day Sana will wake up being able to breathe normally. She sobs, quietly, and turns off the phone, throws it against a wall.It’s not enough—words are not enough. Sana’s starving, feeding on empty promises of a forever lasting love and half hearted I love you’s. Nayeon is pushing herself to love her. Sana can see it, the desperation and hopelessness dancing in her eyes everyday. She can see the fear of losing her one night to some stupid flowers. Out of despair, she tells Sana she can fully love her, that she only has to wait until she’s ready.It’s past midnight and her eyelids feel heavy and so does her chest. She's a fool, an idiot, because she’s dying slowly and she refuses to acknowledge it. Sana grabs her phone and types an answer: ‘Goodnight. I love you too. See you tomorrow.’